June 10, 11, & 12

Thank You, God, for getting me through an incredibly busy, and blessed weekend! (Especially with the added challenge of a cold, and allergies.)
Teaching dance to friends’ guests at their wedding on Saturday. (Between the Mass and reception.) Giving the keynote address at the ‘Ladies for Life’ Tea on Sunday.
Had a lovely time at each. Met many new friends; and it was such an honor to be a part of both of those events!


May 29, 2011

Thank You, God, for a pleasant and enlightening afternoon spent learning about St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross with some very nice ladies.

Published in: on May 29, 2011 at 11:16 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Peace….at least for a second….

Wiped tears & held my little boy crying bitterly when his (dollar-store) hairbrush broke. And realized, my life is perfect. There was nothing else I’d rather be doing at that moment. 🙂

Published in: on February 20, 2011 at 11:33 PM  Leave a Comment  
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The Living and Seeing God


There are times in our lives when it would seem that a phrase jumps off a page in a book or an article, as though God Himself were using it to tell us something. It may not be particularly striking, per se, especially if it is a simple, supporting sentence in a much larger argument, or a mere example of a further-reaching issue an author is discussing. Nonetheless, one feels compelled to pursue this phrase (even though it may be inconvenient,) until the message is revealed.

This was the case recently while I was reading Alice von Hildebrand’s book, The Privilege of Being a Woman. In Part VI, “Women’s Supernatural Mission,” she introduces a certain phrase: “Deus vivens et videns,” which became a key for me, spurring me to a lot of meditation and research, but finally unlocking a deeper message. I will attempt an explanation of that process, and the message that I found.

In order to see any significance at all in the phrase, however, let me first place it within the context in which it is used. She begins the section with the assertion that, based on the foundation she has built for the reader prior to that, we can “perceive the beauty of femininity as coming out of God’s loving hand, and the glorious mission assigned to it when fecundated by the supernatural.”1 To me, this rather weighty sentence naturally begs the questions, “What is the beauty of femininity?” and “What is its glorious mission, which God has assigned to it?” With this introduction, she begins to develop the idea of the contrast in how men and women view the world around them, and the superiority (beauty) of the feminine point of view.


Published in: on February 21, 2010 at 9:55 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Loving Our Brothers


After a fair amount of thinking about how irritated I am that there seems to be a misunderstanding of what women are, in men’s minds, and relatively recently in many women’s as well, I finally came to one conclusion:

What has failed in the secular feminist movement, in the whole militant feminist ideology, is that it is based on hate.  I don’t believe that it is possible to change anyone’s views by hating.  There consistently seems to be one answer that comes to me, regardless of what I read, what I pray for, what I try to accomplish:  that the only way to change the world is through LOVE. I know it sounds sappy, but in the way I’m talking about it, it’s anything but.

In fact, it’s harder than hating.  As I see it, anyone can make a lot of noise and chaos, or even just sit around, hating their “enemies.” But that’s failed over and over; it’s not the answer.  Instead, I think the answer is to love men enough to insist they respect our dignity. Since we are (male AND female,) created in God’s image, accepting anything else from our men is allowing them to disrespect our Creator (and doing so ourselves, in the process.)

Is that easy?  Not in my book.  I personally find it a lot easier not to confront issues that make me uncomfortable.  And as women, we really have a lot of hesitation (on the whole) in speaking up for ourselves.  We’ve been rewarded throughout our lives for being passive, we’ve had aggressive behavior modeled for us (especially by the militant feminists;) but have we really been taught a loving assertiveness?  For most of us women, the answer is no.

But sometimes, a “tougher” love is the answer.  Our society seems to have become so obsessed with not offending anyone else that we are actually enabling others to destroy themselves.  But that is a mistaken idea of “respect for others,” to me.  I think that if we truly respected others, we would be trying (in a loving manner) to help them become the best person they could be, the person God created them to be.  We aren’t doing our loved ones any favors by not speaking out against evils we see them taking part in or exposing themselves to.

That’s not to say that letting someone make their own mistakes doesn’t have some merit.  But when those mistakes involve evil, it is our duty to help guide that person back to the right path.  And that’s where the idea of holding our men accountable comes into this picture.  We need to keep them on the path that will lead to their salvation, lovingly.  How?  By not letting them look at us as objects, by not letting them treat us as though they owned us.  By letting them see the true beauty of femininity, and of the female intellect.  By respecting ourselves enough to say NO when others are disrespecting us.

This sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it?  Why do we women have to do all this work?  I don’t know…I’m just starting to put this puzzle together.  But I do know, hating men and treating them in exactly the same way we resent them for treating us isn’t going to change anything.  So I’m hoping to try out a new tactic: truly respecting myself; and loving the men around me enough to show them why that is what they are called by God to do.

Dear Mary,

Pure and beautiful rose, please help me to discover, respect and remain true to my beautiful feminine nature, and hopefully to bring the men around me to a greater respect and love for women in the process.



❦                                        ❦                                        ❦


Published in: on December 10, 2009 at 8:42 PM  Leave a Comment  
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The Big “First Post”


I think that most of my life, either consciously or unconsciously; directly or indirectly, I have hated myself because I was born female.


I hated myself because I wasn’t as strong as a man;  in my family, since we first 3 kids were girls, we did “men’s work” anyway…and boy, would it have been nice to have a man’s musculature for some of that work.

I hated myself because I wasn’t as cool and detached – businesslike – as my father; as men in general.  Because at the end of the day, I didn’t assess my success or failure by what I’d accomplished, per se, but more by whether or not my relationships with others were healthy or not.

I hated that I get a period, and men don’t.  That it seems to be looked at as a “disease.”  That I did suffer through 15 years of endometriosis (a real disease) needlessly, because I couldn’t get a doctor (all of them male,) to take my symptoms seriously enough to come to a diagnosis.  And that because it was “female” pain, most people wrote it off as being all in my head.

I resent the idea that my interests are not as important as men’s.  That my pursuits are “little,” as in:  my “little dance thing,” [studying to be a Ballroom Dance Instructor,] my “little flower bed,” etc.  I think even if I were to earn a Doctorate it would be referred to as “my little Doctorate thing.”  One guy I dated for several years referred to every single craft I did as “knitting,” even though I had repeatedly informed him I have no idea how to knit, nor any real desire to learn.

I hate that my intelligence is somehow not taken as seriously as a man’s.  I actually have a pretty high IQ, and am fully capable of grasping any concept that any man (that I know) can.  Yet people always seem surprised to find this out.

I like fishing, trucks, snowmobiles, motorcycles and a lot of other outdoor activities.  But somehow I’ve never been overly disposed toward dirt, slime, or grease…a serious handicap in those activities.  (Never prevented me, though.) I also don’t love competition, though I’m actually prone to it, and find it exhilarating from time to time.

Somehow, I’ve always felt at a disadvantage–second-best–in being a woman, and that the world really is definitely built by, and centered around men.  I hope that idea is not in my head just because I happen to have been born in the 70’s.  I am pretty sure I actually would have come to that conclusion fairly easily regardless of when I was born.  There is always at least a vague awareness of the fact, when one is not living up to one’s potential, or fulfilling one’s purpose in this life, especially when one feels it is because they are being thwarted in their efforts.

However, I have very little to show for any of it.  Hate never really changed anything for the better.  Screaming to be heard, to be acknowledged, doesn’t achieve recognition, respect, or equality.  In fact, it does a pretty good job of reinforcing the idea that women are “emotional,” prone to outbursts, and not to be taken seriously.  Swearing off men doesn’t work either, because they are a part of the world and we are all interdependent.

Somehow, I’ve got to come up with a working strategy for being a woman in this modern society (since that is where I live,) and not only that, for being the intelligent, independent woman that I am, unapologetically.  Because, I truly believe that if we women are not authentic, we are cheating not only ourselves, but also the world.  The only way I feel I can really make it to a ripe old age is by really LIVING as me, as female, as the creature God made me to be.

And thus begins my journey, of trying to figure out what a truly modern, good (and for me, Catholic,) woman is:  how she fits in to this crazy world we live in today, and how she can live God’s plan for her–to do the most good, without sacrificing her true nature or dignity.


May God, Mary, and all the Saints & Angels please help me, and show me the way!


❦                                        ❦                                        ❦


Published in: on November 4, 2009 at 4:20 AM  Leave a Comment  
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