Loving Our Brothers

 

After a fair amount of thinking about how irritated I am that there seems to be a misunderstanding of what women are, in men’s minds, and relatively recently in many women’s as well, I finally came to one conclusion:

What has failed in the secular feminist movement, in the whole militant feminist ideology, is that it is based on hate.  I don’t believe that it is possible to change anyone’s views by hating.  There consistently seems to be one answer that comes to me, regardless of what I read, what I pray for, what I try to accomplish:  that the only way to change the world is through LOVE. I know it sounds sappy, but in the way I’m talking about it, it’s anything but.

In fact, it’s harder than hating.  As I see it, anyone can make a lot of noise and chaos, or even just sit around, hating their “enemies.” But that’s failed over and over; it’s not the answer.  Instead, I think the answer is to love men enough to insist they respect our dignity. Since we are (male AND female,) created in God’s image, accepting anything else from our men is allowing them to disrespect our Creator (and doing so ourselves, in the process.)

Is that easy?  Not in my book.  I personally find it a lot easier not to confront issues that make me uncomfortable.  And as women, we really have a lot of hesitation (on the whole) in speaking up for ourselves.  We’ve been rewarded throughout our lives for being passive, we’ve had aggressive behavior modeled for us (especially by the militant feminists;) but have we really been taught a loving assertiveness?  For most of us women, the answer is no.

But sometimes, a “tougher” love is the answer.  Our society seems to have become so obsessed with not offending anyone else that we are actually enabling others to destroy themselves.  But that is a mistaken idea of “respect for others,” to me.  I think that if we truly respected others, we would be trying (in a loving manner) to help them become the best person they could be, the person God created them to be.  We aren’t doing our loved ones any favors by not speaking out against evils we see them taking part in or exposing themselves to.

That’s not to say that letting someone make their own mistakes doesn’t have some merit.  But when those mistakes involve evil, it is our duty to help guide that person back to the right path.  And that’s where the idea of holding our men accountable comes into this picture.  We need to keep them on the path that will lead to their salvation, lovingly.  How?  By not letting them look at us as objects, by not letting them treat us as though they owned us.  By letting them see the true beauty of femininity, and of the female intellect.  By respecting ourselves enough to say NO when others are disrespecting us.

This sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it?  Why do we women have to do all this work?  I don’t know…I’m just starting to put this puzzle together.  But I do know, hating men and treating them in exactly the same way we resent them for treating us isn’t going to change anything.  So I’m hoping to try out a new tactic: truly respecting myself; and loving the men around me enough to show them why that is what they are called by God to do.

Dear Mary,

Pure and beautiful rose, please help me to discover, respect and remain true to my beautiful feminine nature, and hopefully to bring the men around me to a greater respect and love for women in the process.

Amen.

 

❦                                        ❦                                        ❦

 

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Published in: on December 10, 2009 at 8:42 PM  Leave a Comment  
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